Reflections: As the first month of 2009 draws to a close, I suddenly felt making a new blog entry to sum up not just the ‘simple changes’ that I have gotten through; but also those who kept my mind boggling. *sighs* Okay, let’s start things right then~!
Recap: There have been a lot of things that has happen these past few weeks. The start of year 2009 indeed, became a very unusual year. I have seen new people with different personalities and perception towards things, bewildered by unforeseen endeavors, tripped on 'stones' and soaked my feet in 'puddles' I never expected that will be on my way, rediscovered beliefs that I have forgotten through time, developed my feelings towards a few people and realized a lot of changes that was starting to forge me to become a different person. Most of them really drive the adrenaline out of me because of excitement but a few of them left me stunned, shocked and crying in a corner. Take note: Those stuff that made me crying was mainly my fault. Really.
As I reminisce and reflect on all the things that have passed through me, the first questions that suddenly popped in my mind is:
Am I apathetic? What is it in me that make me so dense? What does it mean to be dense?
*sighs* I just don't know. People have been telling me that I'm so apathetic when everyone's crying their heart out. I’m like there watching all of them making a hell out of a situation or when someone’s about to leave and that person’s going to go far away and will be gone for 10 years or so. But the first thing that comes to my mind is, why should I cry- to show sympathy or to make them aware that I care about what’s happening? I can show those by other means; not just by crying. Another thing is, if I cry my heart out, will something change? For example, if I have cried during the time my best friend was going to leave the country, will that stop here from going to Canada and stay here? NO.
I’m not in the mood for this kind of talk. Can we save the words later?
*peace sign* I’m sorry guys. My mind just told me that it doesn’t want to talk about this topic. Maybe I’ll just continue this post~ or make another continuation! *smiles*
P.S. People always say that they're always ready to let go when it comes to the ones they love. One thing's for sure: They're not doing it very well. Yes, they are willing to let go of that person but usually caught off guard during the moment of truth.
